hell yes lets make some ravioli
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
