So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize