My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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