i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
