operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
