Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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