remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
