Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
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the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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