bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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