Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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