I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
