We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
