Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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