youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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