I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
