All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
