She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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