i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
