Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
