I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
