I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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