Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
