I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
