i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
