Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize