i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
