She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
