just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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