My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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