Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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