This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
