Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
