Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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