Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
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I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
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An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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