Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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