:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
