Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
