I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
