FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I need a burrito and a hug.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
