I think I died a long time ago.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
this will be a night to untag.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
