id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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