No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
