she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
They took my balls.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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