Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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