oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
