turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize