Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
