i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
