wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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