chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
