and next time when you feel me up, do it right
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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