I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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