Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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