how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
