Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She announced her abortion via fbk
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
