Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There's always time for handjobs
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
